I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
