I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
