There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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