im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i think i just lost a toe
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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