ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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