C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
