Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
