i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
