are you still at the devil's house?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
