i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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