Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
