Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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