he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.