I love having hate sex.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.