OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
