well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
