'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
