i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize