i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
