She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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