eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
