Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
