Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
