I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize