He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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