Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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