do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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