my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
