Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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