If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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