Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My hand turned me down
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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