Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
