My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize