All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
