I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
