I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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