he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
