I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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