Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
