He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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