Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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