Barsexuality is the new black.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
