So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I am one with the molecules
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
