I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
