I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
