My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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