Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
