Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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