you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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