my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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