she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
