apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
