I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
