Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
