you guys were way drunker than both of me
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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