This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
