Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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