Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
