i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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