Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
