new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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