i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
