Jerry, you need to find god
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
