Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
