One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
