Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just had sex on a roof
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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